IMAGINE A WORLD
where every woman feels confident in her body at any size, deeply believes she is enough, and trusts her intuition to guide her to live her authentic life — from how to eat, what to say, where to go, and who to be.
Imagine the things that would be possible! This is the world I want to live in. I believe that we, as women, have incredible things to contribute to this world. But, when we’re stressing about our thighs, waiting on perfection, or constantly comparing ourselves to others, we take away our own power. Ultimately, chasing these outcomes robs us of the happiness we desire and the world of the gifts we have to offer.
I know a thing or two about chasing happiness in all the wrong places.
A few years ago, my life looked drastically different. I was a food-obsessing, schedule-filling, to-do-list checking, marathon-running, corporate attorney.
I struggled with disordered eating, yo-yo-dieting, binges, daily anxiety, crappy body image, and so much fear. Insecurities that started whispering to me as a kid grew into full-blown freak-outs. I was never totally present in any situation because I was distracted by my own unsettled feelings. Every interaction felt like an opportunity for my self-doubt to grow.
I wondered if I would ever be able to have fun on vacation, stop feeling crazy around chocolate chip cookies, let a day go by without stressing about my weight, or be able to stop picking apart my “flaws” every time I saw a picture of myself. I wondered if I would ever be able to just relax long enough to enjoy the little moments in my life, like happy hour with friends or brunch with my husband.
I felt hopeless, desperate, and miserable.
I finally hit my rock bottom on my honeymoon. After a date filled with French wine and French fries, I started to feel guilty about my “unhealthy” choices. My mind was full of lots of icky thoughts, like “I should have ordered the salad,” “I definitely need to run extra tomorrow morning,” and “UGH I’m so gross.” When I went to the bathroom to put on my new black lingerie, I had a total meltdown and the night was ruined.
In that tearful meltdown moment I realized that my insecurities and fears were distracting me from the wonderful life I had right in front of me.
I couldn’t enjoy any of the amazing things in my life feeling like I did about myself. I was so held back because of the way I saw, thought about, and treated myself. I was wasting seriously precious moments freaking out and, on my honeymoon, it finally hit me that these were moments I would never get back.
Something had to change!
With a lot of support, I started my journey to learn how to have a real relationship with myself. One that included trust, love, compassion, and care. I stopped trying to fix myself with the next fad diet, punishing workouts, or a jam-packed calendar, and instead gave myself permission to answer the question “what do I actually need?”
One day at a time, I began making choices that filled me with joy and let that joy lead the way.
I slowly released what no longer worked for me — like calorie-counting, two-a-day workouts, and people-pleasing — and learned to gently embrace what felt right — like eating what my body craved, moving for fun, and becoming a health coach who helps other women on their own journeys to living joy-filled lives.
Once I finally quieted the self talk of what I “should” do, who I “should” be, and how I “should” eat, I discovered what it looked like to be my real self. I also discovered what was possible when being the authentic me.
Today, I get to experience confidence in my body that is not dependent on the number on a scale or the size of my pants. I get to feel relaxed and safe around food -- kale, fresh baked brownies, and everything in between. I get to snuggle my husband and baby without distracting thoughts like “my stomach should be flatter!” I get to make decisions in my life, relationships, and business from a place of trust, clarity, and certainty about what is right for me.
I get to enjoy coffee, donuts, and life!
And, I’ve had the amazing privilege of helping many incredible women learn to do the same.
If I could time travel, I would hug my younger self and share the truths I have discovered. But, since I can’t, I’m doing the next best thing I can think of: sharing them with you.